Healing is not linear…

20110529-024457.jpgIt’s been an interesting rollercoaster to find out that, while some days, or even weeks, I have low pain levels and I feel like I’m progressing, I still have equally as many bad days that knock me flat. It took me talking to my therapist about how annoyed I was that, while last week I was on a great schedule daily that was productive, this week I can’t seem to accomplish anything, to understand that healing doesn’t happen perfectly on a timeline. Last week I was barely limping so I filmed some FemDom clips in my stiletto thigh high boots and favorite leather dress and it felt AMAZING! I felt like I was really getting back into working and healing, I was so excited…. UNTIL… I had to start physical therapy again. I stopped my pool water therapy over a month ago from my fractured having not been healed enough to not cause excruciating pain after every session, so these new sessions are different. It’s to simply break up the scar tissue I’m still swollen with and deal with my bursitis. Let me tell you, it is PAINFUL AF!!! I know it’s necessary for my healing, but after a session on Friday and another this pst Monday my limp is back, my soft tissue damage in my abdomen is on fire, and pain is back to 10’s on the pain scale every day this week. My therapist brought up that healing is not linear. Some days my pain will be less, some days more. It’s just how healing goes. And I can’t get too frustrated because it doesn’t do anything to help me heal. Some days I’ll be in stilettos & tight dresses, others I’ll be in flowing, modern hippie style sexy outfits. My ass is still perfection, my boobs just keep growing with me not able to be active yet, and I AM still here. And I WILL kick ass! It’s ok to struggle, so long as we keep pushing forward in spite of it!

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