If you’ve been following along with my blog, you might have been looking for your perfect Domme or area of submission that is your specific niche to serve her in. I’ve covered how to pick your Domme, where to look, toys to use in exploring play with them, and now we are going to talk about proper etiquette. More often than not your nerves will make you out-think your own self when the simple manners that you were taught when you were younger absolutely applies to this situation. To ease your fears I’ll go through many of the common and some not so commonly thought about encounters you’ll have when you first start getting comfortable with your Domme and how to make it as fun as possible.
How To Address Your Domme
Each and every Domme has something different that they’d like to be called and it’s important to learn and respect it. I personally prefer Goddess or Mistress, depending on the relationship that I personally have with the submissive as well as the type of sessions we have created together. I accept other reverent titles, but others may have strict rules and applications to the names you are to address them by. It is not only a sign of submission and ownership but a show of respect for you to always be mindful of the way you come to them. As we were taught years ago to use Ma’am or Sir when speaking to those older, more professional, or above us, so should you think of the titles used by your Domme.
If you are looking to truly submit and serve a Domme, then manners and obedience are important. There are plenty of “brats”, which are those who love to playfully push their Dommes buttons and break the rules to provoke or get attention in the form of discipline, and then there are those who try to top from the bottom, which are two totally different types of disobedience within BDSM. “Brats” still know the balance of submission and obedience to their Domme while enjoying their kink of being “punished” for being “disobedient” as this is part of the game both D/s have consented to. A sub trying to “top from the bottom” is someone who does not respect the Domme or how the consensual relationship works. Once again we can find that the old manners taught to us of saying “please” and “thank you”, asking permission before doing things or touching someone/thing, and other common courtesies will go far.
Completing Tasks For Rewards
If you happen to find yourself with a Domme that gives you the opportunity to earn yourself rewards for completing tasks, count yourself lucky and DO THEM. If you chose to take on a task oriented Domme, make sure that you actually are motivated to do them. There is nothing worse than me taking my time to put together a task that is tailored to a sub for them to simply put no effort into it. It is such a turn off for me and, no matter what happens next, that sub has an uphill battle to impress me. Complete the tasks given to you in a complete and timely manner. If you are unsure of what they mean, complete it in every way they could imagine, do twice the work. Impress them! You can never do too much, but you can always do too little. Show them you are worthy of their time when they go to make your next assignment.
Limits & Safe Words
Limits and boundaries are important for everyone. Expect for your Domme to have them. Expect that they will ask you for yours. It’s ok if you don’t know what yours are yet, be honest with them about it. It’s for everyone’s safety and enjoyment and not at all embarrassing or shameful. Seriously, don’t worry if you don’t know or understand it quite yet. That’s what safe words are for. The goal for safe words isn’t to push someone so far to their limits that you force them to use their safe word. The goal is to have them in case you come upon something you didn’t know was a limit that you had until you came right up to it and stared it in the face. You can start with something as simple as the stoplight system: Green means go, Yellow means slow down things are going a little too far in this direction, and Red means hard immediate stop to the scene. Make it simple, keep it fun, keep it safe.
Talk To Me, let me know what questions I should deep dive into next time as we continue on this journey together. If you haven’t quite found your Domme yet but want to, make sure you check out my blog: https://talktoeveb.com/2022/09/04/how-to-pick-your-domme/.
Until next time! ~ Divine Goddess EveB